


Of the Wide World (I Stand Alone)

by seekrest



Series: Twelve Days of Terror: A Whumptober Collection [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker is a Good Dad, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is a Good Grandpa, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 16:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21256160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: "Just one more? Please?"Tony sighs, feeling his shoulders sag even as he smiled. Just like his father, Tony thinks - knowing that he’d never be able to resist anything that Peter Parker’s son asked of him.“Alright, alright, one more and that’s it, got it squirt?”Ben nods, the smile so bright on his face that it makes Tony’s heart warm.Only for it to crumble at the next words out of Ben’s mouth.“Can you tell me a story about my dad?”





	Of the Wide World (I Stand Alone)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Doppelgänger
> 
> Taken from [Hailingstar's Halloween prompt list](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com/post/187781459998/13-nights-of-halloween).
> 
> Happy Halloween! I am sorry™

“But I’m not tired.”

Tony sighed, shaking his head as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“And yet kiddo, I can see you barely keeping your eyes open.” Ben frowned, Tony smiling at the look on his face - a pang shooting through him for how much it reminded him of Peter. 

Of late night arguments that were never really arguments, of rolling his eyes and laughing Tony off in some fit of teenage rebellion. 

Tony had seen Peter grow up from the awkward and over-eager teenager that he’d been when Tony had first met him - seen him throughout his college years and young adulthood.

Yet seeing a look so similar to the Peter he’d known years and years ago, a perfect mixture of both Peter and Michelle’s features - made Tony wish for those days once again. 

When the world had felt simple, even with the knowledge that even then - it hadn’t been. 

“I’m not tired. My eyes just need to rest.”

“That means tired, kid.” Tony smirked, tucking him in more even as Ben wriggled. 

“Can you tell me a story?” Tony shook his head, sighing. 

“There once was a kid named Ben who wouldn’t sleep. But then he did. The end.”

Ben snorts, Tony laughing at the sound as Ben turned over - curling his legs up and looking towards him. “That’s not a story.”

“It’s reality is what it is. Come on, I’ve let you stay up three nights in a row. If I don’t give you back to your mother with at least some shut-eye, she’ll never let you stay over ever again.” 

“Grandpa Tony…”

Tony sighs, feeling his shoulders sag even as he smiled. Just like his father, Tony thinks - knowing that he’d never be able to resist anything that Peter Parker’s son asked of him. 

“Alright, alright, one more and that’s it, got it squirt?” 

Ben nods, the smile so bright on his face that it makes Tony’s heart warm. 

Only for it to crumble at the next words out of Ben’s mouth.

“Can you tell me a story about my dad?”

Tony feels his breath hitch, swallowing down the lump in his throat that formed in an instant. It was painful, visceral - an ache in his chest and his lungs even as Ben smiled sweetly back to him. But Tony controls himself, forcing a smile on his face. 

“You’ve heard all the best ones, kid. Not sure what else you want to know.” 

Ben gets a contemplative look on his face, one that cuts through Tony’s heart once more for how much it reminds him of Peter - wishing that he was the one telling stories to his son, tucking him into bed at night and kissing him before he slept. 

Tony would do anything for Peter and Michelle, an indescribable joy when he heard the news that Michelle was pregnant. 

Years after the undoing, after making the world right again - Tony could barely contain himself with the joy of not just seeing Peter alive again - but growing, each year becoming more and more of the man Tony always knew he’d been destined to be. 

He was the best out of all of them, always had been - even at sixteen. 

It was the joy of Tony’s life to see him thrive - to watch as he graduated high school, graduated college, married Michelle - right up until the day that Ben had been born, the incandescent joy and love in Peter’s eyes that mirrored his own. 

Tony hadn’t known Peter the first fifteen years of his life, but it was that moment - seeing Peter as he held his son in his arms - that made Tony think of how grateful he was that the universe had given them the chance to know each other for the rest of it. 

And in some way, Tony thinks - he had. 

He’d been there for each monumental moment in Peter’s life from the time he was fifteen. 

And Tony had been right there, holding Peter in his arms, the moment he had died. 

“I don’t know. You choose.” Ben’s small voice rings out, bringing him out of his thoughts - out of the memories and the wounds that he knows time will never heal. 

“Well,” Tony says, taking a deep breath that is undeniably shaky as he exhales, “How about the story of when he and DUM-E got into a fight? I mentioned that one before?” 

Ben’s face scrunches up, the furrow of his eyebrows reminding Tony of Michelle and the eyerolls and banter and laughter that they’d shared over the years. 

She’d been distant with him when they were young, looking at him with a skepticism and outward dislike that made Tony irrationally feel as if he met Pepper reincarnate. But over time, Michelle had started to warm up to him - reaching some kind of conclusion to herself, as if her line of questioning and reservations about Tony had less to do with her own personal objections towards him but rather an intense need to protect Peter. 

It’s something that endeared her to him, Tony thinking that of all the people who loved Peter Parker - that he might have found one just as stubborn as he was. 

His friendship with Michelle had undoubtedly changed through the years, transforming now into the familial relationship that no matter what - even with the loss of Peter - could never be severed. 

But seeing her features in Ben’s small faces just makes Tony heartache that much more, the knowledge that while he had lost someone he loved as a son - that Michelle had lost her husband, her confidante, her best friend. 

And Ben, the perfect picture of the two of them - a blend of them in looks and personality - had lost his father. 

“DUM-E’s a robot. How did he argue with a robot?”

Tony laughs, blinking back the tears quickly as he tried to steady his voice - hoping that Ben hadn’t seen. 

“You’d be surprised. Your dad was a lot of things but letting go of his stubbornness was not his strong suit.” 

Tony’s face transforms into a genuine smile even as a tear escapes, running a hand through Ben’s curls. 

“Reminds me of someone else I know.”

* * *

The story he tells takes less than twenty minutes, Tony exaggerating his features and his voice - making Ben laugh even as everything within Tony wants to cry. 

When he finally kisses Ben goodnight, he pushes away the thought Peter’s last moments - of Tony bringing his lips to Peter’s forehead, the gentlest of goodbyes - communicating everything that at the time, he couldn’t bring himself to say. 

That he loved him, was so proud of him - that there would never be a day that Tony wouldn’t be. 

That he’d do anything in his power to see after May, to take care of Michelle and watch over Ben - Peter’s pleas ringing in his ears, the choked and pained wheezes of a man who knew his time was almost up. 

Tony closes the door to Ben’s room behind him, quietly making his way out to the porch - to the quiet and the stillness outside, the sound of nature the only thing calming the storm in Tony’s heart. 

He hated it, living in a world without Peter - knowing all too well the anguish of what it meant to keep breathing in a world where Peter did not. But before, with Thanos - the world around him shared in his agony, an overwhelming grief that shrouded everything in a darkness that felt too heavy to lift. 

But now, not even six months after Peter was gone - Tony could barely reconcile with himself that the world steadily kept going.

That the world may have mourned for Spider-Man and still celebrated his bravery, but couldn’t fathom the complete and utter loss of Peter Parker. 

Tony sinks down into the cabin bench, gazing out over the lake as he hears the crickets chirp. 

It was quiet, serene - Tony closing his eyes as he let the sounds of the insects and the ripple of the water ground him. 

When Tony opens his eyes, he lets the tears fall - lets his shoulders shudder and his breath hitch, the sob he’d been holding in since the moment Ben had asked about Peter coming back into full force. 

Peter was gone - Tony would do _ anything _ to bring him back.

To give Michelle her husband back. 

To give Ben his father.

To give himself his son.

But there was nothing that Tony could do to fix this, knowing it as clearly as he saw the love and resignation in Peter’s eyes as he took his last breath - that the universe had been kind enough to give them back some time together, but wasn’t kind enough to give them the lifetime that Peter deserved. 

Tony’s shoulders shake as he cries, putting his head in his hands as he feels the grief wash over him. 

His sobs are quiet, the anguish overwhelming him - stifling down the agony of wanting to scream, to yell out and beg for another second chance.

He couldn’t, Tony knew it - and no matter the grief that he feels, he didn’t want to wake Ben or Pepper with his cries. 

Tony brings his head out of hands, looking up into the dark and starry sky. 

Ben reminded him so much of Peter, so much that it hurt - the way his eyes would crinkle when he laughed, the way his smile lit up his whole face, the way he would chatter excitedly about anything and everything that grabbed his attention. 

But for as much as it hurt, as much as seeing Ben broke something in Tony’s core - he would never refuse him, would never think to distance himself from him. 

Ben was the last shred of Peter he had left in this world, a painful reminder that Tony had failed to save him.

A reminder of all that his world had lost, of all that Peter would never get to have. 

If Tony couldn’t save Peter, he would do anything, no matter how painful it was - to always be there for Ben. 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's the end of my contributions to whumptober! Thanks for following along my dudes, please feel free to scream at me in the comments. <3


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